WALK

" … the inherent linkage between physiological and psychological response can be demonstrated clearly by a simple experiment. You might wish to try this the next time you take a walk late at night. As you walk, think, consciously, about not looking back, to see what, if anything, is following you. Also, speed up your walking, slightly, each time you think about not looking. Shortly, no matter how much self-control you think you have, you will either look back, or break into a run. After this reaction occurs, the standard defense mechanism …"

" …, so, what if there are 'physiological, psychological linkages' That doesn't prove that man has no freedom of choice."

"Don't be a child, Paul, we live in a nice well-ordered universe. You have no more freedom of choice than the computer over in the Bio-Med Center. Both get an input and both produce an output - a PREDICTABLE OUTPUT. That's the whole idea behind Science."

"You know something, you worship science as if it were a God."

"There is no god, only beer, skol "

"Skol, ……"

" …… was thinking about what you said about predictable output."

"What does predictable output have to do with anything?"

"You know, what you said about an input causing a predictable output, whether you are dealing with a machine or with a man."

"Oh yeah, I seem to remember saying something to that effect. What about it?"

"Well, I just thought of way to prove you wrong."

"You did, did you … Well, are you going to tell me what it is or would you rather sit here all day grinning like the Cheshire Cat."

"It's really very simple. You remember the psych lecture that got us started don't you."

"Not word for word, but close enough."

"O.K. then - all I have to do is walk, not run, back to the dorm, without looking back."

"0f course. How do I know that you don't look back? If I go along will blow the experiment."

"You'll have to trust me, I guess."

"Trust, now there's an … "

… ·step, step, tap, tap, don't look back … funny how the mind keeps coming back to a thought you'd rather not have … damn … why the hell should this night be different than any other night … never particularly felt the need to look back … can't look back … of course, that's the difference … knew that before I started … the world can't be that orderly, the mind can't exist … I think therefore I am … the world can't be that orderly … augh … bad thought when you can't look back … burrr … whistle a happy tune and it will know I'm afraid … or something like that … afraid … nothing to be afraid of … same street … same sounds hummm … the sounds are the same I guess … guess I just never noticed before … I can't hear anything behind me why should I want to turn around or run … why anything not anyone … slip of the what … mind … but mind is the problem … that's better … I'm not thinking about n - o – t& 1 - o - o - k … drat... anyway no sound out of wack … I think? … would it make a sou … nope … that thought is absurd … and it is a NO NO … hee … good Lord … has television conditioned me to … maybe I should just admit that … Hell NO … I am the master of my fate and the captain of my soul and I'll be damned if I will give up that and knuckle under to … to what … to look back … to Dave … to … blast that psych teacher … almost there … won't have to worry about looking back or anything that go b~~ in the night … yeah … at least actions I can control if not all my thoughts … I wonder if that has anything to do with the racial memory concept my philosophy prof was talking about … well, at least this stupid thing about looking behind has nothing to do with racial memory … I think … hell … back on the subject again … this is just getting ridiculous … as if something could happen if one did not look back for too long … absurd … we live in a well-ordered universe … hold it … that is what I set out do dis …

The headless body of Paul Chambers was found by a street cleaning crew at 5:23 the next morning. The head was never recovered.